Grace Covered Me Like A Blanket

Sometimes the days can roll on and on and feel difficult.  Each day, even more difficult than  the one before.  Faith may be strong, that is not even the issue.  You may not be crying out, "Where are You God?!"  But still you wonder when the tides will not be so turbulent and the peaceful shores will come and you can walk like along the shores in the cool of the night.

My days continue to be long and hard.  The day is done and I am shutting the house down.   I am aware that what happened to me today should not have gone as smoothly as it did.  I went alone to a procedure.  But I was not alone.  For three hours, I did what was needed and I was calm.  But after it was done, my body went into shock.  I began to shake and my teeth were rattling.  I began instructing the medical team what to do instead of putting me in an E.R. room, which is where they were headed.


"Get me a warm blanket," I calmly kept repeating.  Questions were raised and nervous energy was exchanged among them and I just kept repeating my request, "Please, get me a warm blanket; you must calm my body down.  My body has gone into shock.  Look at me, I am calm but this is too much for my body to handle."


After several minutes of pleading with the nurse she understood I was right and left to get me a blanket convinced I wouldn't faint but while I was calm, my body wasn't.  I needed a blanket and I would be okay.  I needed to calm myself down.  How odd that I am instructing her on what to do.  I began to cry and wrapped myself in this warm blanket.  My body had been overwhelmed with toxicity and it was just too much.  The warmth of the blanket produced tears.  As I cried, I wondered what the tears were for. 


Do you ever ask yourself this when you cry?
 
In Psalm 43 he talks about his tears being his food both day and night.  The writer is really down and says this:


Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness...through each day the LORD pours out his unfailing love upon me and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. 
 Psalm 43:5, 8


I was out of control today-I didn't like it a bit.  But that blanket, that warm blanket was a reminder to me that I was okay.  It was a reminder to me that Someone greater than I had ahold of me.  See, I don't know the test results, I don't know the outcome of my days, just like some of you don't know the outcome of your test results.  And it is all okay when you know the One who holds your life. 


I wish for easier days ahead.  I honestly do.  I wish for quiet shores.  But in the meantime,  I am grateful for a warm that calmed my body down, even though my soul was very calm because I walk with Someone who gives me a quiet peace.  I was very calm even though my body was freaking out.  Today, this day, I am grateful for grace, covering me like a blanket.  Do you experience this?  For there is nothing like it when you are going through the deep waters. 

DON'T GIVE UP!

"While he was a long way off..."   Luke 15


This is how it describes the scene before the Father embarrasses himself.  This is how it describes the picture before the Father grabs his robe and runs, which in this culture you did not do unless you were in battle.  This is how it describes the afternoon when he was almost done for the day, but the Father was still waiting, still watching, at the gate, longing for the return of the one who had broken his heart. 

Way down the road, still way off, he could barely see something, but He knew it was him.  He knew it was His son and so it began. 


Don't rush the story.  Don't get to the good part yet.  Are you longing?  Are you standing there waiting until you feel like your heart is going to break?  Has someone walked out on your life and broken your heart and you know that they are making choices that could land them in far worse places than a pig pen?  Know this, in the longing and praying and waiting, there is a Father standing with you, longing and praying and waiting with you this very moment.  He does not turn to leave and go in until you do.  And tomorrow He returns with you to long and pray and wait again until way down the road you both see something.  For He is after something more than the waiting. 




Commit everything you do to the LORD, Trust Him, and He will help you.  Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for Him to act.  Psalm 37:5,7


Today, be encouraged in the waiting, though your heart feels it is about to break. He sees and knows and is very involved in each detail bringing it all where it needs to be.  He is hurting, too, longing for things to change.  Remember, He is at the gate waiting and longing with you.  You are not alone.

ASLAN IS ON THE MOVE!

Do you remember the Narnia movie when Lucy sees Aslan and the others don't?  He finally joins with her and asks her why she didn't come even though the others didn't see him.

Is God after something in your life today that he's not after in those around you?  Are the winds of Aslan moving in your direction but perhaps, no one else can feel them?  I encourage you, enter it.

I have watched in the last few days something so significant and life changing happen.  I have watched some terrible news in one person's life bring another person to a place of great change and brokenness.  It has been very unexpected and very surprising.  This person has been a hard and angry person and done great harm to those around them and they have become soft and caring and attentive to how they are impacting others.  Those around them are not sure quite how to respond.  What do you make of such a difference in personality?  How does ones character change so drastically?  From anger to engaging?  There is no pill or drink for such a change.  This is a miracle that comes from an unexpected place.  It begins when one sees their own heart.  It comes from the work of the Spirit. 

We can long for things, pray for something and even attach a verse to it because then it has more power and we have stronger faith.  We can hope and pray and sometimes do this for many years and see no change.  Where is "Aslan"? 

The fictional story of Narnia reminds us that Aslan is both good and dangerous.  We know from the Word that Jehovah is both good and unpredictable.  He is faithful and can be completely trusted, but He is God.  He does not work on our timetable or according to our desires and we can get discouraged and frustrated.  We can lose hope.   

Philippians 1:6
And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. 

We don't know how or when or what this will look like in us or anyone else.  Until then, we hold fast and hold onto the hope that we have been given.  We hope, not in a Lion, yes, He is the Lion of the tribe of Judah, but we hope in Jesus, the Christ, the One who left His throne and  came and He died on our behalf and He rose and He now sits interceding for you and for me each moment of the day.  Our hope is in the One who is waiting to throw His leg over the white horse and ride into a great battle and come and rescue us again. 

Be encouraged today, even if is seems that nothing is going on... God is at work in the waiting.  He is. 

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering for He who promised is faithful.                                      Hebrews:10:25

STOP BEING A BOTHER!

Have you ever heard these words before,  "Stop being a bother!"?


Come unto me all you who are weary.... Jesus








Do you know that God never says that to you?  He never even thinks this.




I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry.  Psalm 40:1


Are you in trouble?  Are you going through something?  Do you feel alone or confused?  Are you uncertain of where to go?  Are people tired of hearing about your story?  Has your heart been turned away?  Perhaps you have been told to stop sharing, maybe even that people don't want to hear. 


I was told this about a health issue.  Someone close to me told me to stop sharing about my health.  Even if someone asked me, she would interupt and say, "Oh, they don't really want to hear."  I began to think my story wasn't important and people didn't want to hear it.  I began thinking they didn't want to hear about other parts of my life either.


Where do lies come from?  Where do lies about our value and our hearts come from?  You know the answer to this question don't you? 


Over and over David affirms in his relationship with his God that he could turn to God at any time and at any place for help and comfort and God would listen and want to listen and God would help and want to be of help.  Listen to the rest of this section of the psalm:


He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God.  Many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in him.  Psalm 40: 2-3


At times, maybe even today, we can feel alone and like no cares; perhaps someone has even said this to you.  But know this-Jesus, over and over tells us to "Come".  "Come" if we are weary.  "Come" if we are burdened.  "Come" if we are ... you finish it.  He just wants us to come.  Most of us have had experiences and maybe even this day you are having an experience where someone in your life is communicating to you that you do not matter.  It is not true.  Pick up your Bible and read this great chapter of Psalm 40.  Be reminded that God is not like any other person. 

I am poor and weak, yet the Lord is thinking about me right now! O my God, you are my helper.  You are my Savior, come quickly and save me.  Please don't delay!  Psalm 40:17

This day, be encouraged, have hope, your God says, "Come!  I love you."

Alone, HE Alone Is What We Need!

Regardless of the day, perhaps even the storm you may be anticipating, let me remind you that you need not call all your friends for help.  You may be watching the storm clouds forming and you can feel the air change from warm to chilly cold, you know it is coming and you better seek cover.  Or perhaps, this storm has come out of nowhere and the day has been beautiful and this betrayal knocked you off your feet and you hit the floor sobbing in disbelief.  This storm came quickly like a lightening bolt from around the corner.


I stand silently before the Lord, waiting for him to rescue me.  For salvation comes from him alone.  Yes, he alone is my Rock, my rescuer, defense and fortress.  Why then should I be tense with fear when troubles come?  Psalm 62:1-2


Why, because what was said was a lie.  Because it assaulted my dignity and my character and it will ruin my reputation and it is so far from the truth of my heart.  But He allowed the wind and the rain and the hail and the violent rain and dripping wet I sat on my sacred laundry room floor weeping and asking, knowing that He had given me this Word the day before. He had asked me, "Do you put your hope in Me alone?" 


What does it mean to silently wait for God alone?  I was reading Andrew Murray's book on Waiting, a book written in the 1800's, and I felt so convicted that I know so little of what it means to wait.  I prayed all day about it and did not know my heart would be ripped out the next day.  I sat on the floor with my hands open crying and asking that good would come, no, first I prayed it would all go away, then I prayed that good would come.  I prayed this because that is who He is...the God who allows storms, the God who sees and comes close to the one crushed in spirit and the God who brings good out of what is not good. 


But I stand silently before the Lord, waiting for him to rescue me.  For salvation comes from Him alone.  Yes, he alone is my Rock, my rescuer, defense and fortress-why then should I be tense with fear when troubles come?  My protection and success come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a Rock where no enemy can reach me.  O, trust him at all the time.  Pour out your longings before him, for he can help!  Psalm 62:5-8


This was mine.  It was severe and rattled me to the core.  It was shameful and I knew the one who gave me the news did not want to tell me in fear of my response.  But I needed to know as it had to come out.  Truth has its place in our lives or we cannot move forward; but this was betrayal and this was hurtful from one I had confided in and trusted.  This came from one I had told secrets to and asked for help.  He had wounded me intentionally. 


Today, whatever you are going through, be greatly encouraged and stand quielty before the Lord, or sit humbly on your laundry room floor, and wait for him to save you. For our salvation comes from Him alone! Don't go calling all your girlfriends, don't email everyone you know... do that another time to give Him credit for what He has done. But come before Him quietly and put your hope in Him for He longs to save. It is who He is. He is our Rock, our rescuer, our defense and our fortress. Why then should we be tense or afraid when troubles come? Today we will wait quietly and expectantly for the salvation of our God.

Confront This Day with the Courage of God!

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

 Psalm 57:2

David wrote this while he was in hiding, desparate to stay alive.  What an odd thing to say when he is running to stay safe.

This day is a day where I am reminded that someone close has betrayed me and trampled my darkest secrets.  I have been called a liar and a fool.  I am not running for my life, but I don't want to move, I don't want to have to start all over. Don't want to have to begin again...what happens to all I have shared and offered?

What went on within David, who was annointed king, as he remembered Samuel pouring the oil over his head and blessing him as God's chosen king?  What is going on in my heart as I have obeyed and followed and done what was asked on my part?  God brought a mad man to hunt and chase and kill.  God brought a man who has turned the tables and done great harm to my heart and my family.

"I cry out..."  There is no where else to go.

"to God Most High" For we must never forget who You are and as Job said, "Still I will praise You."  What is in my heart that I can still praise you?  Still offer the pain and tears as offering of worship?

"who fulfills his purpose for me"  And I believe that no one and nothing will get in the way of what You are doing in my life.  You are still good and You are still a God at work in and through and around me.  Bring good out of what is not good.  That is who You are.  Let me not wish evil, but do good.  Let me believe that Your purposes will never be thwarted, for You are God.  Bring healing, for You comfort those who mourn.

DON'T YOU DARE!

I have cried off and on, probably in my sleep.  Feeling like someone is interfering with what God is doing.  This is no small thing!  Fifteen years in the making and he is about to undo it all. 

Why do we give so much power to other people? 

"Show me the path I should go, O LORD:  point out the right road for me to walk.  Lead me; teach me; for you re the God who gives me salvation.  I have no hope except in you.  Overlook my youthful sins, O LORD!  Look at me instead through eyes of mercy and forgivenss, through eyes of everlasting love and kindness."  Psalm 25:4-7

Though all around me may seem to crash and take the worst turn, have I forgotten who holds my life? I have sought him when all seems lost and he has been my everlasting life.  Now, again, the tables have turned and one has spilled the oil on the fire.  But were they not surprised when four showed up instead of three?  Were they not surprised when they were walking around and did not have any evivdence of fire?

I believe he still collects each tear.  I believe he comes very close to those brokenhearted. 

His name is Emmanuel.  His name means to bring his very presence. 

This day, we can, in a personal way, expect God himself to come close, to care, to pick us up and minister as only he can do.  But this day, we can be very sure that His plans will not be thwarted by one who has tried to interfere and get us off track.  They will not be stopped by one who has given wrong advice or devasting information, even one in a place of power for the kingdom.  Because our hope is in God, his plans will not be turned or thwarted.  He is still a redeeming God.  He still wants to show off.  He still loves to take an impossible situation and turn it around.

"Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him to help you do it and he will. Rest in the Lord:  wait patiently for him to act."  Psalm 37: 5, 7a

Man can do whatever he wants, but don't you dare think that you will ever get in the way of what my God is up to, no this day, not ever.  I am a woman determined to wait for the deliverance of God!  Are you?

Did You Have a Good Day?

Let Him have all your worries and cares...

Another child out the door and on the bus.  One more to go.  But twenty more minutes.


I recall prayer last night,


"Lord, we know you hear our prayers.  Lord, we know you answer our prayers.  We are believing you to heal our mom.  We have been asking you for years, we are not asking anyone else.  Lord, we believe you are going to heal her..."


said the twelve year old daughter, a daughter believing in faith for the whole family, as a grandmother prays, after walking with God for 90 years. 




And I sneak away for 20 more minutes to calm the pain down. 


You have chosen not to heal.  You have said, "No."  Perhaps You have said, "Wait."  and the wait is still no to me as I rush to the magic sheets that wrap around me.


I am not angry, just weary.  We both know that laundry calls, that phone calls need returning and a floor is sticky.  We both know that I would rather be taking a neighbor to lunch to talk to her about her life.  But this day, and the three before it, I am given the bed and pain. 

Because it comes through Your hand, because I believe You are good, You must have a greater story.  But today, this day, I am so weary.  I am alone.  The tears that run down my face are collected again, and I pray that You receive them as worship.


My quick rest is awakened to the alarm and I pull myself up to gently awaken the last one.  She dresses, she eats, she finds what is needed.  We pray and give you honor.  She rushes in the rain to the bus.  I watch and am inside as the other moms are outside.  No guilt for I know what is allowed.  These mornings, I cannot bring my body to walk across the street.  She has safely arrived and I climb the stairs and lay my head down in sacred homage as I safely arrive for where I am to spend the remainder of my day.  I know this is what is allowed for me and the world goes about with the day, but I am here, alone in this bed.  It seems that it is a waste of a day.  It seems to serve no purpose to be in pain and to be alone but You have ordained and allowed, again, this day, this moment.  Somehow use it. 


...For He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you."
                                         1Peter 5:7


Does a good God care that I suffer?  Did you care that Peter was beaten and jailed?  Did you care that Your own son was bruised and beaten? 


It has been so long.  I am weary.  Surely You must have something more to do in me.  Surely there must be something more that You are wanting me to know of Your heart. 


The day is gone and I have slept.  Your presence has never left me, nor has the pain.  I eat, I shower, I am still weak and in pain. 


The buses begin to arrive, as do the children. 


"How was your day?"
"Great.  And yours?"
"Mine?  Mine was good, too."
"You don't look like it was good."
"Oh, it was good."
"What did you today?"
"Normal day.  Come get a snack and tell me about your day."

After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you his eternal glory.  He personally will come and pick you up and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever.  To him be all power over all things, forever and ever.  Amen.  1 Peter 5:10-11

The Gift of His Presence

As we spoke of things...  I was reminded...regardless of what happens,



Genesis 39:2


The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered...
You need to walk in the presence of the Lord.  All that you do.  Wherever you go...  you must take His presence with you.  Talk with Him and invite Him into your situation.  Don't go anywhere without bringing Him with you.

Practice the presence of the Holy Spirit.  There are things that you are not going to share with anyone else.  Yes, you need other women in your life, you will need to share things with friends during this difficult time, but dear one, you will need to share, to cast your burdens on the Lord because He cares for you.  He truly does.

Remember that the Lord was with him and he was a slave in another man's house.  The Lord was with him during a very difficult and confusing time.  The Lord had given Joseph a vision for something very different than what he was going through.  (You don't get stuck in trouble, remember this)  And Joseph prospered even when he was a slave in prison.  Why?  Because the Lord was with him. 

Be encouraged with the Lord's presence. 

(Read all of)  Psalm 16:11

You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Lord God, your presence is what I desperately need. It is the path of life.  It is fullness of joy!  The Joy of the Lord is my strength.  Yes Lord, Your presence is eternal pleasures and I am longing for this even now.  Your name, Emmanuel is what I cling to.  Thank you that You will never leave me.  Thank you that I am prosperous because You will never forsake me.

A Personal Invitation

Call on Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall honor and glorify Me.

                                   Psalm 50:15  (Amplified Version)


There is nothing simpler than this.  It is the call of the Lord himself.  When you are in trouble, call.  Today, this day, are you in trouble?  Are you feeling discouraged, hopeless or defeated? Are you crying out?  He is more than ready, he is inviting you, his heart is calling your heart to call out to him.  The Word indicates that He is eager.  Who in your life right now is eager to help you?  It seems that few are available and even have time, but the Lord himself is longing for you to cry out to him.

The call comes with a strong promise:  God will deliver You.  Whatever your dilemna, whatever you are going through, the deep water, the firey trial, he is longing to bring you deliverance.  It may not be the answer you are expecting or considering.  But He is faithful to His Word and you can bank on this with all that you are.  He will save.  It may be as the three who entered the furnace, it may be as the one lowered into the den with the cats, it may be like brother sold and behind bars all those years, it may be like the foreigner who gathered grain only to be noticed, it may be the baby floating in a basket, it may be the barren wife weeping on the steps, it may be the outcast, single mom with her young son out in the desert, it may be ... you.  He is the God who never changes.  He is the God who sees.  He is the God who invites.  He is the God who saves.  "I will deliver you."


Naturally, we will "honor and glorify Me" because whenever God works we cannot help but speak of it.  When He saves, we know it.  When He showed up there were now four, the cats were no longer hungry, Joseph prospered, Boaz noticed, Moses was chosen, Hannah conceived, Hagar was saved... to name only a few. 

When His presence shows up, His healing, His movement,  His voice, there is deliverance.  We give honor and we give glory. 


This day, call out to the One who has invited you with a strong promise.  Know that He loves you and is waiting to save you.  He has already provided a great rescue and longs to do it again and again. 

"Now glory be to God! But his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we  even dare to ask or hope.  May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages.  Amen."  Ephesians 3:20-21

Lord Jesus, Do you hear me calling?