Did You Have a Good Day?

Let Him have all your worries and cares...

Another child out the door and on the bus.  One more to go.  But twenty more minutes.


I recall prayer last night,


"Lord, we know you hear our prayers.  Lord, we know you answer our prayers.  We are believing you to heal our mom.  We have been asking you for years, we are not asking anyone else.  Lord, we believe you are going to heal her..."


said the twelve year old daughter, a daughter believing in faith for the whole family, as a grandmother prays, after walking with God for 90 years. 




And I sneak away for 20 more minutes to calm the pain down. 


You have chosen not to heal.  You have said, "No."  Perhaps You have said, "Wait."  and the wait is still no to me as I rush to the magic sheets that wrap around me.


I am not angry, just weary.  We both know that laundry calls, that phone calls need returning and a floor is sticky.  We both know that I would rather be taking a neighbor to lunch to talk to her about her life.  But this day, and the three before it, I am given the bed and pain. 

Because it comes through Your hand, because I believe You are good, You must have a greater story.  But today, this day, I am so weary.  I am alone.  The tears that run down my face are collected again, and I pray that You receive them as worship.


My quick rest is awakened to the alarm and I pull myself up to gently awaken the last one.  She dresses, she eats, she finds what is needed.  We pray and give you honor.  She rushes in the rain to the bus.  I watch and am inside as the other moms are outside.  No guilt for I know what is allowed.  These mornings, I cannot bring my body to walk across the street.  She has safely arrived and I climb the stairs and lay my head down in sacred homage as I safely arrive for where I am to spend the remainder of my day.  I know this is what is allowed for me and the world goes about with the day, but I am here, alone in this bed.  It seems that it is a waste of a day.  It seems to serve no purpose to be in pain and to be alone but You have ordained and allowed, again, this day, this moment.  Somehow use it. 


...For He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you."
                                         1Peter 5:7


Does a good God care that I suffer?  Did you care that Peter was beaten and jailed?  Did you care that Your own son was bruised and beaten? 


It has been so long.  I am weary.  Surely You must have something more to do in me.  Surely there must be something more that You are wanting me to know of Your heart. 


The day is gone and I have slept.  Your presence has never left me, nor has the pain.  I eat, I shower, I am still weak and in pain. 


The buses begin to arrive, as do the children. 


"How was your day?"
"Great.  And yours?"
"Mine?  Mine was good, too."
"You don't look like it was good."
"Oh, it was good."
"What did you today?"
"Normal day.  Come get a snack and tell me about your day."

After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you his eternal glory.  He personally will come and pick you up and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever.  To him be all power over all things, forever and ever.  Amen.  1 Peter 5:10-11